The perfect drug.

There’s this thing we all do, the most important thing we ALL do … MOVE. Moving seems like so very little, but truly, it’s the most important phenomenon. The ability to move is a gift that many squander. Whether you take moving for granted or you were a mover and shaker your entire life, every living thing feels that ache and yearn for movement when they have limitations.

I have been blessed to be acquainted with many great examples in life and I listen to them! My dad is a man that was born with congenital heart disease. He has had many a surgery and many a surgery complication. I have seen him on life support twice, once in a coma for a week. My father has organ function slightly higher than that of a cadaver. Still, every single day he is working, moving, producing and creating with all that he has. He once told me ” if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” My dad sure knows how to use it!

In this chapter of my life, the “life creating” chapter, I have lost the “it” my dad was referring to so many times. I lost movement by choice. I lost it because being pregnant was more important. I lost it because sitting around breastfeeding my miracles was WORTH it. I lost it because cuddles and book reading was worth it. I lost it because they ARE worth it.

Regardless of why I lost movement or whether it was worth it … it SUCKED to lose it. Something starts to eat away at me when I’m not moving, like an orca in a swimming pool. I crave movement like a drug.

I need to run like a kid, as fast as I can. To run like I’m running away from everything and everyone that bothered me recently. I can actually feel that moment when the endorphins start running through my veins and I become me again. No longer am I my circumstances. No longer am I that awful day I had. No longer am I that dreadful bill I can’t stop thinking about. No longer am I just someones mom, someones daughter, someones friend, sister, employee or wife. I am ME for ME with no one else to report to, feel responsible for or please. I am on that journey of movement all alone. The rewards are my own. My body is my own. Pores that have been soaking everything in and laying dormant open up and push everything out. They push out the harsh self criticism, the self doubt, the situational anxiety and the fear. I’m left with myself. But fresher. Stronger. Clearheaded. Brand new.

There is a healthy balance in life, a strength in getting what you want and being patient for what you can’t have (yet). Through this chapter of life, I have learned a patience that I never knew existed within myself. I have learned discipline, routine and structure in it’s most selfless form. I am amazed at what my body has accomplished and I love it more than I ever have. I know I will always crave movement, but more importantly, I have proven to myself that I am strong enough to be still.

 

 

 

A decade of choice.

Marking one decade of working anywhere gets you thinking whether or not that was the best idea for your life. I have to say, after many thoughts … Yup. It’s been the best idea.

There is this common misconception about servers in restaurants and anyone in the service/retail industry for that matter. People who work on Saturdays, Sundays, holidays and nights are often frowned upon. I once remember a professor of mine saying “you want a salary”, as if having a annual salary was the only option for success. I see things very differently, I did then. I still do. An annual salary offers a feeling of security, maybe, but is that feeling what everyone wants? No. Some people want to work their asses off and have the challenge of not knowing how much they are going to make per year. Some people want to feel more in control of how much they make, rather giving away all their control to some higher up who makes all the decisions about their life for them.

In the last ten years I have watched people treat servers and bartenders poorly, like garbage, frankly. Somehow these people believe that they are superior lifeforms because they don’t wait on people. It is easy for servers and bartenders to brush these people off everyday, even at every table if need be. You know why that is? We make a shit load of money. We work when WE want to. We have never paid for a babysitter in our lives. We have raised our own children and are happy about who they have become because we KNOW them. We are not jealous of sitting at a computer for eight hours a day. We are not sad about not growing old. We enjoy having awesome friends and working in an exciting fast paced environment. We don’t wish we had “Saturday chore day” (ew). Did I mention we make a lot of money? Like wayyyy more than the people that so rudely judge us. We make more CASH in a day than they made in three at their “important” job. We are not worried that you are smarter than us … because you aren’t. It is a fact that most servers have college degrees, are in college or are serving in addition to a lame job because they HATE their lame job and it makes them poor. We DO have health insurance, vacation time and 401ks.

Mostly, we are uplifted by meanies because they remind us that we are much better people than they are. Restaurant workers get treated so badly that they go out of their way to treat other people well, especially those in the service/retail industry.

The last decade of my life has been a choice. I made the choice to finish my degree and pay for it myself. I made the choice to have a giant wedding and pay for it myself. I made the choice to buy a house and pay for it myself. I made the choice to have children and raise them myself! I decided that doing anything right now other than working in the service industry would mean that I was either not working at all or working while someone else was being paid to raise the children that I have been dreaming about my entire life. I made the choice that my life is about more than me right now. I can make a change whenever I want to because this is MY life. I don’t need to fit anyone else’s mold for what my life should look like.

When you look at how long you’ve worked somewhere and you wonder whether you should feel bummed about it or grateful,  it is important to reflect on the reason you did it. I have a have been able to make good money at a job that compliments and fits my life perfectly. I have never had to take work home with me. I throw on a t shirt and jeans in two seconds and run out the door.

I am grateful and proud of the last decade of my life. I am not the same person as I was ten years ago but I am just as productive. I had goals when I started my job, I reached them. I have goals now and I’m reaching them every single day. I could not have felt as free to be me or reach my own personal goals, challenges and triumphs without this job. I have made friendships that will last a lifetime and can call so many of my past and current coworkers family. I can not think of a better way to spend the last decade of my life.

Cheers to ten years! I’m not sad about it at all!