While you were sleeping..
I read an article about maternity leave in other countries. We are one of only five countries in the world that doesn’t have at least one year of government paid maternity leave.
I already knew that. Maybe you didn’t?
It gets me writing …
I believe that having to leave your baby is the worst thing this country could ever do for the health of our nation and the world. The struggle, worry, anxiety and depression of taking care of your home, feeding and bonding with your child, sleepless nights and busy, burnt out days … this is something that every mother can relate to. We call ourselves strong because we can cope and some of us make it through. Some of our relationships last. Some of our bonds with our kids remain in tact. The sad truth is that sometimes no matter how much you give and struggle and “be strong” and try … it just doesn’t work out that way.
Age 0-1 is the most important bonding time a child will have ever and it will shape their heart and their brain forever. By age five … you are what you are, sure you can change things about yourself and make choices, but essentially you will be that little five year old for the rest of your life. If that five year old is hurt … you better believe you’ll be talking about it in therapy for the rest of your life. Many Americans don’t. Many Americans just continue the cycle and put that hurt on to their children. Some shoot up schools. Some use drugs to cope. Some kill themselves. Many find bad relationships much like the ones they remember, or worse.
We should be strong and we should do good and be good and take care of ourselves be we are just animals and we are vulnerable. When we have babies we are raw. We are wearing our hearts on the outside and we should! We shouldn’t have to be forced to toughen up. To let the baby cry. To give the baby to someone else. To blame the baby for our problems. We shouldn’t have to be concerned about if we are going to be able to keep breastfeeding because work is getting in the way.
Raising a society that treats people well and is successful starts at home. It starts with love. It starts with setting a good example of nurture and care.
Raise your hand if your relationship would be better if you weren’t ships passing in the night, trying to take care of your kids and bills on opposite schedules 👋🏼 Raise your hand if your relationships with your children could be different if you could take one on one Time more with your kids after a new baby came into the family 👋🏼 Raise your hand if you feel that your relationship with your parents suffered because everything else came first 👋🏼
In this country we measure success with the size of our wallets. We have a drug epidemic. We have a mental health crisis. We have a mass shooting problem. We have a teen suicide problem. Those little 0-5 year olds inside of us are screaming for help and no one is helping us.
This is textbook. This is human behavior. This is a problem.
We could fix it.
This country wants you to be blind to how everyone else is doing it all over the world. We are our own worst enemy and we are too busy change it or notice.
We are breeding competitive behaviors and jealousy. I’m guilty of those behaviors FOR SURE.
When I see someone who gets to spend every meal time with their family … Someone who has Sunday dinners and family board game time with extended family … I’m mad. I’m genuinely mad. I’m mad because I don’t have that. I’m mad because I have worked my ass off since age ten with family goals in mind and somehow I’m still working my ass off on this hamster wheel without success how I measure it. Whether I’m watching someone collecting food stamps and free state insurance while they work less than I do, or watching someone who is satisfied living in a trailer over a five bedroom house … I am resentful. I hate that about me.
I want it to be fair. I want a higher power to care that we are all human, we are all struggling, we all need help. We need to take care of our mothers, our babies and our elderly.
We are trained …. brainwashed! To be racist. We are brainwashed to believe we are the best country and we are doing it right. We are not !!! That’s a fact. That’s math! We are trained to always put on this show and compete with one another instead of looking out for one another when the only solution is love …. starting at home!